PUTTING OTHERS FIRST

Putting Others First

I believe that we should be more anxious to give than to receive, more eager to understand than to be understood, more thoughtful for others, more forgetful of ourselves. When we put others before ourselves, we are actually helping ourselves. When we focus and try to help another person with his/her problem/trouble, we can not be worrying about our situation – this way of helping others keeps us from self-pity. For example: if we try not to think of a chocolate cake, it is impossible unless we think of something else. If we all tried to help others instead of feeling sorry for ourselves (being self-centred) or being hedonistic (self-gratifying), there would be a lot less mental health issues. Furthermore, by putting others first, we would prevent many people from feeling they are alone in this world and have no one that cares about/for them. Many people would say “someone actually cares”.

Suicide: Some Facts…

Suicide is not only prevalent in our society, it is often 
hidden in so-called ‘accidents’ such as a diabetic who 
neglects insulin and a proper diet - with the right foods 
or  an alcoholic that will not seek help, even though s/he 
is aware of the damage being done to his or her body.  
These deaths are sometimes termed sub-intentioned death.  
Here are some facts about suicide:
	In the United States alone it is estimated that 
between 240,000 and 600,000 people attempt suicide each 
year.  Of these attempts it is figured that every twenty 
minutes someone takes their own life. That works-out  that 
for every suicide there is between eight and twenty people 
that have attempted to kill themselves.  Many more men than 
women kill themselves and men are likely to use a gun or 
hang themselves, thus more fatal with less chance of rescue. 
Women have a far more lower lethality as they often choose 
pills or cutting to do the job and also making intervention 
more likely.
	Suicide is not class relative - suicide can be 
associated with certain events, circumstances and mental 
states of depression - all types of depression. Other high-
risk groups include college students the elderly (white), 
alcoholics, the separated or divorced, individuals living 
alone,  migrants, people from socially disorganized areas, 
members of some Native tribes/bands, and certain 
professionals such as physicians, dentists, lawyers, and 
psychologists.
My Counselling website:  http://onlinebriefsolutioncounselling.com/

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CHRISTMAS SEASON BLUES

The Christmas season can be a sad and lonely time for
many people.  These people may feel forsaken, rejected, or
discarded, to name just a few.  I am going to discuss two
methods of combating this frame-of-mind.
	   The first method incorporates reframing (rational
thinking) of internal self-talk.  The second method involves
intentionality, the decision to choose and to act.  Such action
can be expected to alleviate one's loneliness and sadness while
improving one's sense of self-worth.
	    Reframing involves cognitive restructuring of
thought patterns that cause a disturbed emotion or behavior.
These emotional reactions are caused by internal sentences
hat people repeat to themselves, and these self statements
eflect sometimes unspoken assumptions - irrational beliefs.
      The aim here is to eliminate self-defeating beliefs
through a rational examination of them.
      As when a lonely person becomes dejected and saddened
because s/he has not been invited out for Christmas dinner
or a Christmas get-together.  At the last moment (or what
is perceived to be the last moment) the phone rings, inviting
him/her out on Christmas Day.  But the person's immediate
response is one of self-pity, s/he feels as though s/he were
a last moment thought, instilling a pessimistic worldview.
      The person who is able to interpret life experience
n new ways through insight is able to generate new ways of
describing the world.
      For example, a person can say to him/herself "I am
very fortunate to have friends who want me to join them,
their friends and family and celebrate Christmas".  Or
"I am amazed that in their hectic schedule, they thought
of me at all".  "They must really care".
      The idea here is to view events and circumstances
through a positive lens.  Think back to a time when you
were watching a funny show or listening to a good joke,
but because you were in a bad frame-of-mind (bad mood),
the normally funny show or joke did not tickle your funny
bone.
      Moreover, recall how many times you were in a good
frame-of-mind (good mood) and the same program or similar
joke were very funny.  The same is true of individual's
worldview.  If a person views and interacts with his/her
world with a positive and optimistic outlook and believing
that s/he has control over life's circumstances, life will
not only be perceived in a better light, it will be better.
      How you come across to others dictates how they will
respond to you.  If you come across as a happy and confident
person, people will want to be around you.  And if you're
miserable and full of self-pity, people will avoid you.
      The second method involves action.  I find this method
to be  very rewarding and enjoyable.  The most effective way
of avoiding loneliness, sadness and feeling sorry for yourself
is to think of and do for others.
      Instead of waiting for people to phone and wish you a
Merry Christmas, phone them.  Phone people you have not seen
or conversed with in a long time, people you are or were mad
at, people that are alone, and so on.
      I find that by being kind to others and putting them
before yourself will fill your heart full of warmth and love,
leaving no room for self-pity.  Just think, the little effort
f kindness and consideration on your part for someone else
may have helped them in a manner to which even they are unaware
has to be uplifting.
      You can not help but shine when your heart is full of
love and compassion.

       This approach can be utilized every day for no other
reason than having others know that someone was/is thinking of
them.
My Counselling website:  http://onlinebriefsolutioncounselling.com/

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…If Only…

 
   ...IF ONLY...   
They did! and They do!  The problem comes in a form of rejection (I define rejection as perceived as such 
by the affected individual) that starts small, and its usually the small, seemingly insignificant rejections that break the 
proverbial camel's back.  The belief that one is being rejected comes in many forms, and is made manifest by sadness 
(depression).  The state of being sad (depressed) enhances the feeling of rejection - which at any other time would normally 
be interpreted as innocuous (harmless).  These forms consist in part of being told that they're too busy to help and leaving 
it at that, being told that the help that the person requests is not 'their thing', they are not 'hyped' (I believe the 
person meant, excitingly motivated) by the request, and being told matter-of-factly that they just don't feel like it.  
Moreover, when a friend, family member, or significant other is ostensibly (seemingly) apathetic or insincere to the plight
 of a given person, the feeling of rejection is accentuated (increased).  As such, please be attentive to the needs of a 
friend or loved one, and don't be so quick to say no to a request.  After all, will it kill you to put the needs of 
\someone else before the needs of yourself - before you find yourself saying, if only...

My Counselling website: http://onlinebriefsolutioncounselling.com/

Hello world!

Welcome to my bl0g.  I hope that our discussions and feedback will enlighten if not educate and make people think of life’s trials as a normal part of living and that individuals are not alone in what he or she is going through.
My website:  http://onlinebriefsolutioncounselling.com/